Cream and pink Dahlia

What is Happiness

I don’t about you, but I have always struggled with being happy. Sure I am a very happy person when I am out in public, but that was usually just a mask, something to hide behind, something to hold onto. A belief that I can be happy if I fake it long enough. You know the tip you get for confidence, fake it till you make it. I tried that with happiness, spoiler, it didn’t work.


So what is happiness? The definition is feeling or showing pleasure or contentment. So what does it take to find that pleasure and contentment? Understanding what true happiness is. I found a quote while I was studying growing my business.

“True happiness is not made in getting something. True happiness is becoming something.”

Martin Ashton 1983

It, of course, spoke volumes to me. If I wanted to be happy then I have to become something, constantly. This is where it gets tricky, what do I want to become? I wanted to be happy, but if happiness comes in becoming something I had to find something else to be happy. So I wrote down things I would like to be:

  • Business owner
  • Fine Artist
  • Mother
  • A friend
  • Compassionate
  • Loving
  • Strong
  • Understanding
  • Unmovable

I wanted to be a lot of things. Some I knew would be easy for me. I can be understanding, but being unmovable was going to be hard. It was a balance between taking advice and leaving it all behind. I wanted to learn and grow, and listening to advice would do that, but I didn’t want to be constantly thinking I was not good enough. I was and still am good enough, always will be good enough.

How do you get that fine line? Listen only to those who matter. For me personally I listen mainly to God, prophets, and what I learn from scriptures. I also do research into what I want to learn about, I will take advice from them. Though I cut out most of who I was listening to, I still talk to them, I still ask them things, but I have given myself the option to listen and not do, instead of listen and have to do. I get to choose if I feel like their advice is something I want to do, I don’t have to take it because I asked them for advice, I don’t have to take advice I didn’t ask for either.

That was freeing! It took a lot of change on my part and a lot of conversations telling people that I don’t have to take their advice, and then dealing with some hurt and upset feelings, but I gained pleasure. I found that I was happier just by changing this one thing.

Becoming Happy

There are lots of ways to become happy. You can do a google search and find lots of articles telling you and giving advice on how to be happy. Some will even tell you the benefits of being happy. What they don’t tell you is the work you have to put in to become happy.

Anything worth having is going to take work. Becoming happy is going to take changing your life and sometimes it’s getting rid of people who aren’t good for you. Leaving behind abusive relationships, taking a different approach on how you normally doing things. There will be days when it seems like it’s not working, there are other days when it feels like the best choice you’ve ever made.

Then there is a point that you reach when you reflect back and say, “Wow, I can’t believe I have come so far, I have accomplished so much.”

I personally think it is fun to look back, I can see progress and change a lot better. However, when you first start I suggest finding inspirational quotes and pictures that give a temporary boost of happiness. The temporary happiness can give you the boost you need to keep going and makes it easier to keep going.

See it works! Well, at least, for me it worked. Flowers make me happy, but they may not make you happy. Finding what works for you is the only way to find happiness. But remember things don’t make you happy, that’s temporary. Becoming something is more permanent, more lasting.

Change is hard but when you have others around to support you it helps a whole lot. Then again sometimes it’s easier to just do it by yourself. Whichever ¬†way you choose, tell me what you want to do, and how you are changing your life to become happier. Leave a comment and then share on your favorite sites.

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